Are we Positive I'm Not Adopted: How to Deal When You Realize Your Parents Are NOT Perfect

There comes a point in every adult’s life when we are forced to ask ourselves: “Are we 100% positive that I’m not adopted?”

Sometimes life reveals a new side to your parents that is difficult to initially comprehend fully. You have come a long way from looking at your mom or dad and thinking it’s magical that they could get the straw in your CapriSun on the first time, every damn time. When it’s no longer about stabbing your CapriSun a zillion times but trying to figure out life, you look to the people that should know everything and they don’t.

It happens when you see your parents differently and you are compelled to take them off the pedestal. You finally grasp that they are flawed. You find out they don’t have the answers or even know the right questions to ask sometimes. And my goodness you also can’t believe they let you eat that crap food when you were younger! It proves to be beyond shocking and you think “Holy shit! They are so human it’s kind of hard to look at.”

After you get over the initial surprise, the next obvious thing to do is to blame then for our fuck-ups. They are the reason you have commitment issues and are awkward as heck. You take them off the pedestal and you look down on them for falling so hard off of their once glorified position.

However, a shift happens the moment you see them anew once again. You see yourself in them. You see that just like you, they didn’t and still don’t know what the hell they are doing sometimes. You begin to understand that they have experiences that you will never even begin to comprehend. You forgive them for not knowing or recognizing how to better care for you when they were trying to figure themselves out in the process.You unfold the layers of humanness and find that, like most people in life, they love you in the only way they know how. Maybe that love isn’t what you wanted or even needed, but the love is there.

You pick them up off the floor where they fell and you place them next to you. You no longer look up or down on them but for once you see eye to eye. You stand next to them, in all your humanness and imperfections, and this time without pedestals.