From Swipes to Double Taps: How to Survive Dating in the 21st Century

You take 10 minutes thinking about a flirty yet non disclosing response to a person you have met ..

You want to gauge if you are exclusive so you go on Tinder to see when the other person was last active...

You are 36 weeks deep on a person’s Instagram and are afraid to double tap because it may show interest…

You wait hours to respond to someone to make it seem like they are not your priority…

It is easy to have a nonchalant, flirty attitude while simultaneously going out of your mind trying to figure out what the other person is feeling.

Do you ever wonder why dating seems so damn hard? It is because everything about dating in this day and age goes against what we are designed to long for as humans, which is to connect. You might go through great lengths to suppress this desire and it is the reason why you joke about being single forever while sitting on your phone making matches on Tinder. It is instant gratification but like a dull spark, it doesn’t create a fiery connection because it is quickly smothered by a greater fear.

Our biggest fear is not being alone, it is being vulnerable.

We use terms like “catching feelings” as if being open to love is a form of disease that can only be cured if we numb ourselves and not feel anything at all. We are the generation that relies on the facade of indifference to cover up the possible depth of our emotions.

What would happen if you were to present your honest self and stop relying on others to fulfill your need for positive affirmation, fueling your ego with a swipe or double tap. If you want your freedom, if you want a short-lived declaration of your beauty, intelligence, or capacity to be cool then “the game” is perfect for you. There is nothing wrong with enjoying going on dates and experiencing others even if it is brief. But if you do, then do not criticize the world for being full of unsuitable men/women.

Your capacity to show your true self will determine your willingness to accept a healthier, more enduring connection into your life. You cannot play with someone’s heart and mind and expect them to adapt to your changing needs when you crave a deeper connection.

Be visible to someone the first time. Show them your raw self full of beauty and madness. Possible rejection may be scary but you can no longer protect yourself behind the image of being emotionless. The world of dating won’t change but you can.